I wasn’t going to write today. To be honest, I didn’t know what day it was. It’s Sunday. I know that now, but lately, it feels like every single day starts out as a Monday and ends as a Friday. A whole work week in one single day. And every day is a weekend because I’m autonomous and make my own schedule as I’ve always dreamed.
I’ve been grinding and I’m not bragging about that. That’s not a boast of achievement it’s just a fact. Sometimes I think I can’t help it. A survival mechanism. #nevernotsurviving
I take too much on. My Mom said that I’ve always been that way. I overestimate my abilities while underestimating time. Right now I want to write every day and record audio readings of my writing while remodeling a 1950s fixer-upper while taking care of my mental health while loving my man who is also taking care of his mental health while moving in together while finding time to meditate while attending sober groups while calling my sponsor while launching a business while finding a therapist while applying for health insurance while being a good sister and daughter while being a good auntie while being a good employee while being self-employed while paying taxes while paying the bills while cooking healthy meals while finding time to exercise while staying sober. While staying sober. While staying sober.
Today is Sunday. Tomorrow is Halloween. Then it’s November. Then I turn forty. Then I’ll beat myself up for having turned forty without the career I envision. I’ll give myself a timeline of achievable and mildly unrealistic goals like publishing and being on the New York Times best sellers list by the time I’m forty-two. To launch my tech company by next year. To save the world by the time I’m forty-five.
A friend reached out to me this week asking if I knew of any leads in the nonprofit world and we discussed the “job market” as two grown women seasoned in rejection and the pursuit of happiness coupled with income. She has applied to so many jobs with little to no response or feedback. They say that no one wants to work right now. We read about quiet quitting and the great resignation but decided that it’s all bullshit. We want to work we just don’t want to work for low wages in shit jobs that make us feel like we are on a hamster wheel to nowhere. We want meaningful jobs that fit within in our ever-changing lifestyles, that allow us to take care of our families and ourselves. We want to work remotely so that we can travel or work in a way that contributes to a society that needs us.
I saw a meme the other day that said, “At every job, you should either learn or earn. Either is fine. Both is best. But if it’s neither, quit.”
I’m building a product. I’m writing a newsletter. I’m writing a book. I’m launching a tech company. I’m investing in real estate. I’m diversifying my income. I’m starting a coaching business.
It’s Sunday.
I love you.